I am a terrible person. Actually, I lied. I'm quite awesome...if you haven't picked that up by now. But I do feel just a little bad that the mailman who drops off our office mail has become a running joke here between a few of us.
It all started with our original mailman, Floyd. Floyd is an older fellow and extremely... well... verbally limited. My desk is right next to the door and Floyd would open the door just far enough to stick his head and arm through, throw the mail at me, and grab whatever needed to go out. I would always say "Good morning" in the sweetest voice I could muster, just to see if he'd ever actually respond. He didn't. In fact, the most I ever got out of him was a "Uggghhh." No joke.
Then this summer, we got a new mailman. A younger fellow who turns out to be delightfully more talkative. For a few weeks now we've chatted every time he came to pick up and drop off our mail and I've actually grown to enjoy his company. Then, a few days ago, I was busy and unable to hold a actual conversation when he showed up, so I just said "Thank you very much!" and he replied with "Anytime!" For some reason that caused me and another coworker to double over with laughter. It's nice to know that if I was ever in need of an emergency mailman, I have a go-to guy.
One day, I hope to call up Mail Services and just shout "I need a Mailman! Stat!!"
Over the course of our conversations I have learned that he is a baseball fan and enjoys Seadogs games. Being a baseball fan myself, part of me really wants to ask him if he'd want to go to a game sometime, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I mean, the mailman would loose all his mystery if I learned his name! And I couldn't go to a game and not know his name. I could always stop him right before he introduces himself and place a finger on his lips saying "Shhhh. Don't say anything. You're the mailman. Let's not spoil that." I could also bring some envelopes and just ask him to hold them for me, every once in awhile handing one to me and saying something sexy like "here's your mail."
Oh god. I would kill this kid's spirit. And this is why I'm a terrible person.
Oh my god, this made my morning.
ReplyDeleteNothing like laughing out loud to start the day :)
ReplyDeleteHaha, nothing like a man in uniform!
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't actually wear a uniform. Do you think it would be too much to ask him to wear one? In fact, maybe that's how I ask him to the game-- leave a folded uniform on my desk with a note saying "Put this on and meet me out back"
ReplyDelete